Rachelle's Story

Hello all, today I received a lovely note from Rachelle- who is competing in this challenge...she shared her journey of issues with weight and asked me to share it with all. If you would like to send your journey to me to post; please feel free to! I think this is a HUGE step to look and see where we have been, what mistakes we've made and how we can correct them into our new lifestyle! If you don't want to share your story...no big deal! Here's Rachelle's story (thank you for sharing):

Hey Everyone, I just want you all to know that your posts are really inspiring! I’m so excited to be on this journey with all of you, even though most of you are complete strangers to me.

I am 28 years old. I have struggled with my weight since I was a child. I always thought I was fat, but now when I look back at those pictures, I think to myself: “Why can’t I just look like that again?” My former “fat weight” is now my “goal weight.”

I have been yo-yoing with my weight/size my entire life. I was always up and down throughout elementary school, middle school, high school and college. But it really got out of control during my first pregnancy. I spent the first 4 months of it throwing up anything I put in my mouth. I couldn’t even hold down water! I lost 14 lbs by the time I was 20 weeks and found out I was carrying a healthy baby boy. Suddenly one day I woke up and I wasn’t nauseous anymore. I didn’t have heartburn so bad that it kept me lying awake all night anymore. And I ATE! I ate like there was no tomorrow. I was pregnant and I was gonna have my cake and eat it too! Unfortunately, my weight and binge eating has been desperately spiraling out of control ever since. By the time I delivered, I had progressed from “over weight,” to “obese,” to “severely obese.” But, I was young and pregnant and thought I would just bounce back to my former self just like they did in Hollywood the second I popped that baby out. But after he was born, I was left with this disgusting, sagging skin. I thought I would put my old clothes on by the time I left the hospital. I cried when I went home in my maternity pants. And yet 9 months after he was born, I was still wearing them! I was only 20 years old. None of my friends had kids and I didn’t know what to expect. I’d had a c-section and couldn’t work out for at least 6 weeks. But, by the time 6 weeks came along, I was consumed with an extremely colicky baby, bills we couldn’t pay and I was desperately sleep deprived. It took 9 months of feeling this way before I realized I was not just exhausted, but I was depressed. I was putting everyone else’s needs before my own and I didn’t know how to change that.

By the time my son turned 1 I was still rocking out those maternity clothes and I figured we might as well have another one. They are 21 months apart and by the time I had my second c-section, I was 22 years old, 4’11” and tipping the scales at 222 lbs!!!

When my daughter was 15 months old, one of my friends dragged me to the Natatorium for a step aerobics class. She was the most uncoordinated person I knew, but she also only weighed as much as one of my thighs! But, I thought that between my excessive weight and her undeniable lack of coordination, we would balance each other out. Lol On that first day of “working out,” I weighed a whole 2 lbs less than I had the day my daughter was born. When the class was FINALLY over and I caught my breath long enough to walk to the door and read the “class description,” I found out it was called “Elite Cardio Chisel” (an advanced step aerobics routine with intervals of weight training, abdominal strength training , plyometrics and cardio bursts…I didn’t even know what most of those things meant!). But, the fact that I had survived it was impressive to me. I truly thought my knees were going to give out and my heart explode. Clearly it wasn’t a class intended for someone who hadn’t done more cardio than it takes to run up the stairs to pee everyday for the last 5 years.

What I can tell you is that I LOVED that class. Yeah, I was embarrassed by my size. I was the biggest girl in there by a LOT! But I loved the people in it who welcomed me and encouraged me to keep coming. I loved the instructor who kept saying: “You can do this. You can do ANYTHING!” And she even made a point to get to know my name! And now, 4 ½ years later, I am still going to those classes and some of the best friendships of my life have been made through the blood, sweat and tears we have shared in that gym! The only downfall is that my body has completely adapted to the grueling workouts I’ve put it through for 1-2 hours a day 5-6 days a week. At first, I didn’t have to change my eating habits. I would just show up, sweat and drop big pounds. I had lost 30 lbs by the time I got on a scale again. And I thought to myself: “I wonder what would happen if I ate healthy AND worked out. I did that for a few more months and lost another 15 lbs. I had hit my stride and I was feeling GOOD! But then, I fell in a hole and sprained my ankle. I couldn’t work out for 5 months. In that time, I gained back 50 lbs. That’s right…a whopping 10 lbs a month. It came back on like a freight train! I didn’t even know that was humanly possible to gain weight at such a rate. But I do love food and the more depressed I got, the more I ate.

I went back to the gym, embarrassed as hell. Back up to 200 + lbs. A number I swore I’d never go above again. But I worked out harder than ever before. I was on a strict diet for 15 months and lost 60 lbs. I was only 15 lbs shy of my goal weight when I decided to start letting myself have a few treats. After all, I thought I deserved them. Before I knew it, I was back into my old habits. I was having dessert with every meal, breakfast included. And I put back on 30 lbs, all while maintaining a strict workout regimen. And that’s where I stand today. 30 lbs heavier than I was in June 2009...just 7 short months ago. Am I healthy and strong? I don’t question that for a minute. I can do cardio for hours at a time and lift weights that make my husband cringe. And yet, I still struggle to get into my “fat jeans” everyday. I can barely even zip up my XL winter coat. And so, the battle of the bulge is still on.

I guess what I really wanted to share with you all is that my struggles have taught me that my battle with weight will never be easy. It will never be “over.” When I get to the point when I think I am “done,” that’s when the real challenge begins. The real challenge is maintaining a healthy weight. A healthy lifestyle. You can’t work out and not eat right. You can’t eat right and not exercise. It all has to be in a harmonious balance to continue to succeed on this journey.

This journey is definitely not going to be an easy one for any of us, but it will definitely be worth it!

Thanks for listening and good luck on your journey!

-Rachelle